
Self-checkout at the grocery store. Like the sign says: It’s easy. Hah! It’s easy if you enjoy the stares of onlookers who offer the identical customer gaze as those who count the number of items in your basket when you are in the “15 items or less” line.
I didn’t realize I had $88 worth of groceries in my basket. Really, I didn’t. I knew that the staffed check-out lines were long. Besides, the checkers and the baggers make this whole process seem very easy.
Do you know where all your bar codes are? Answer: Every product is different. They can be on the bottom, top, side, in the crease or it could be a dreaded “no bar code” item. My basket had all of those.
How often have you under-appreciated the way your bags were bagged?
I got home, and the Tums were packaged with the Tilapia; the Kleenex accompanied the frozen peaches; toothpaste rode shotgun with the fresh chicken breasts; and the yogurt was in every bag that was self-filled.
“Aren’t you glad you got behind me,” I said to the woman in workout clothes with the pointy cat-eyed glasses to my rear. She had one 28-ounce can of Hunt chopped stewed tomatoes in her hand. She smiled, in apparent disagreement with my question.
The guy with the beer belly in a college football shirt behind her grimaced at my remark. Serves him right for trying to sneak in a grocery store run during halftime. Eventually, he went to another line.
Finally, Finish and Pay glowed from the screen. After punching in all the right answers and codes, I thought, the machine asked me to re-insert my card.
The lady with the pointed glasses did not laugh. The machine wanted me to do the entire scan and pay transaction again.
At the end of the second “transaction,” I told the pointy-glasses person that I promised to always tip the people who bag my groceries in the future. She said: “Good idea.”
She did not tell me that the olive oil, tuna, Bic razors and dried fruit were still in the “basket within the basket” in back basket of my cart. I retrieved my receipt and quickly headed for the exit.
Upon loading the legal groceries, I discovered the pilfered and un-bagged items in that back compartment.
Let’s call it the first learning opportunity of 2009. I had to go back in the store, scan the stolen items into lawfulness and leave with a commitment and resolution to never, ever do that again.